How many times have we heard it? We turn on the radio or go to a protest and people are chanting a familiar refrain: “shame on you, shame on you.” It’s easy to go there. There’s a lot to be mad about, a lot of sadness and frustration. Peaceful protesters are also confronted with unprovoked violence. But violence begets violence and an eye for an eye makes the world blind. We know that much, but what about the more subtle kinds of violence?

One of the key aspects of my working definition of restorative activism is that it’s consistently nonviolent. Shaming is a good example of a behavior that is not nonviolent. The words we use (and the energy we put into their expression) are important and have a bigger impact then we tend to realize.

The vast majority of us had more than enough shame heaped on us by the time we were 5 years old thank you very much. It comes with growing up in a society that is so extremely cut off from the natural world and spirit (the transpersonal, all that lies beyond the personal). The fullness of our being and experience as humans is shamed out of us so that we’ll fit in. We still carry that wound deep in our psyche and it shows up as a sense of not being able to express who we really are (not even knowing who/what we really are!). The last thing anybody needs is more shame. Using it as a tactic in our work for social change is bad psychology if nothing else.

When faced with shame and blame people naturally close up and go into reactionary mode. They will be more likely to continue to use violence and less likely to engage in dialogue. Building or regaining trust will be difficult because deep unconscious wounds will have been triggered. With shame and blame we lose the moral high ground.

A consistent nonviolence is nonviolence towards ourselves, other people, other species, and the earth. In practicing it we set an intention to do our best. It’s not about being perfect. It understands that the means are the ends, that we are already, by what we say and do today, creating the future. It’s part of the practice of that saying of Gandhi’s that just won’t go away: Be the change you want to see in the world. Consistent nonviolence serves that goal of stopping violence and injustice at its source, while sowing the seeds of a life-affirming worldview and future.

Scott