Divorce Coaching for Grown Ups

If you are feeling the sting of a past, pending, or current divorce—the disconnection, insecurity, resentment, and anger—or know someone who is, the right guidance and support can be a lifeline. If you want inspiration in seeing the forest for the trees, the opportunity for the pain, I have an approach that makes that possible.

Personally, I owe a huge debt of gratitude to divorce. Without the pain my divorce caused I may never have even started the waking up process. Nothing gets our full attention quite like pain.

What Doesn’t Kill you Makes you Stronger

Fifteen years ago I was more or less the same unconscious and insecure person I’d been for the previous 25 years of so-called adulthood. I was good at numbing and ignoring the pain. I didn’t have any real interpersonal skills and I had learned to live with that. Then the universe came along and gave me a good smack down!

Fortunately, I had enough basic awareness to realize, as I sat on the marriage counselor’s couch one fateful day with my soon to be ex-wife, that this was a wake up call. I’d hit a low point and it was a choice point. I chose life. I chose to face and transform my limiting patterns and beliefs, some of which had been handed down for generations.

In the intervening 15 years I’ve met many people who made similar choices in the aftermath of divorce. Divorce turns out to be one of our most common rites of passage. But rites of passage don’t happen without support. I got a lot of support through a variety of teachers and trainings and each step led naturally to the next.

Moving Beyond Blame with Divorce Coaching

So it was with great enthusiasm that the first business I helped create brought all my learning full circle back to divorce. We called it Restorative Divorce. Bringing together restorative justice, psychology, and spirituality, we created a model of divorce coaching that helped people use divorce as a springboard into greater self-awareness, healthier communication, and deeper connection, regardless of whether or not they stayed married.

The process has evolved since then and I now call it simply Beyond Blame and it’s useful in any relationship where there is a desire to, well, move beyond blame! Learn more about the Beyond Blame process here.

Saying Yes and Transforming the World!

While divorce probably has less shame associated with it now than it used to, it still isn’t honored as a natural part of some relationships. It doesn’t tend to be seen as a message and an opportunity. But it is one of the most powerful gateways into personal maturity and healing, and in that, one of the most significant ways we can contribute to collective healing. The new paradigm being called forth is relational! If we don’t learn how to get along better we won’t survive!

So if you (or someone you know) are in need of some support in using divorce as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth, for learning practical skills that will be useful in every relationships for the rest of your life, I would be honored to offer that support.

And if you don’t already have it, you can start with my Relationship Roadmap e-book, which is delivered free to your inbox when you SIGN UP.

Who and where would I be today without saying “YES” to life after divorce? I shudder to think.

Wishing you all the best,

Scott Brown