Scott on the job, circa 1991
It’s been awhile since I posted anything. The last webinar was a wonderful experience for me and I thank those of you who participated. The webinar helped me feel into a powerful way to bring active peacemaking into the world in 2018 and I’ll have more to say about that soon. For now, I wanted to offer something that I hope will support you in the run-up to the New Year and beyond: the Power of Should.
I’m quite familiar with the power of should. During my Greenpeace days and so much of my early life I was a loyal and unconscious victim of should thinking and I trust that you too are intimate with it:
This and that should not be happening.
I should be different. My partner should be different.
Life (work, relationships, Christmas) shouldn’t be so stressful.
He should not be president, etc. etc.
It’s very basic, habitual stuff and we could easily keep riding that roller coaster for the rest of our lives. But think about all the energy that goes into “shoulding” in your own life. Does it help? Is it a force for constructive action and positive change or does it mostly lead to endless dissatisfaction, resentment, and anger?
In my own life I’ve felt how the mentality of should puts me in opposition to life. Not just life as it is in the moment, but life in general, because the should reflects unconsciousness and all kinds of beliefs and judgments rooted in separateness.
A sense of self-importance arises (“I am right,” “I know how things should be”), the big picture gets lost, and I’m disconnected from the natural flow of life once again.
So what’s the alternative? The practice I wrote about in Active Peace that I continue to find useful is to light-heartedly notice and name the shoulds (“there I go again….”). This instantly brings more consciousness and presence. And this is exactly why I want to do it—I want to be in my heart and in truth as I move through life. It’s not because I want to pretend that there aren’t things I’d like to do differently or see changed in the world. It’s because the fundamental change I most long for comes through the heart’s deepest longings—for peace, justice, respect, right relationship with the earth—not the mind of should.
Connection to the deep longing results in a mind that is calm and clear and the possibility of action that is rooted in life energy itself.
I find this a simple way to relax into life and the interconnectedness of all things, where everything exists for a reason, where there are no accidents, and where I know I’m not in charge.
The power of should can be seen as a largely negative force that, like every other judgment rooted in separation, props up the illusion of separateness. It can also be seen as a gift—a reminder that we are out of alignment with life just as it is. We can then make the choice to drop the thoughts and come back into harmony with the present moment. When we do this, we move with greater connection to the wisdom of the heart and we become more courageous, resilient, and effective. And happier too! If you try this in a consistent way I’d be curious to hear how it goes.
Many blessings,
Scott Brown