Dear Brother,

I want to start by saying that I love you and I’m truly grateful to have you in my life!

Since we communicate so seldom I can’t pretend to know what’s in your heart right now. The last email I received from you a few weeks ago began with the words: “I am a Christian.” You went on to write about the state of our country—the lack of civility and people being denigrated and attacked on the basis of their race and gender. You wrote about the distortion of truth, false narratives, Orwellian tactics, and the danger of accepting such a status quo.

To my amazement, you were writing about the “unconscionable behavior of the radical left,” and the left only. There was something about that email that felt particularly toxic and extreme. To be honest, it seemed chillingly similar to what racists post on Facebook before going on a rampage. I deleted it without responding. 

But as people started coming together to mourn the killing of eleven and wounding of several others at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburg, I was inspired to find that email and read it more carefully. Writing this letter is a part of my grief process for those killings and other violence. 

Imagine it! One moment you’re enjoying the peace within your place of worship, and in the next there’s a mad man armed to the teeth and friends and family are laying dead or injured! Imagine your wife as one of the victims.

This was not random violence. It was insane but not senseless. It’s all too understandable—and it keeps happening. It was surely provoked by all the virulent lies and propaganda that bombard the airwaves and the internet.

I’ve stopped being surprised by violent attacks like that but I refuse to participate in allowing such crimes to be normalized. That means speaking out against the deceit and ignorance that feeds such frenzied hate. It also means reaching out to people like yourself, human to human.

Many people were already reeling from the package bombs sent to CNN, Obama, Hillary Clinton, and the others. And just one day before the Tree of Life massacre, two black men were killed by a white racist at a grocery store in Kentucky after he failed to gain entry into a locked black church. Homegrown terrorism pure and simple, fueled by lies and hateful rhetoric.

I wonder how you feel about these atrocities? I know you are a decent man, a good father, a caring soul. We are able to talk and feel the brotherly love between us. I think of you often when I ponder the sharp political divide in our society. I hold you up in my mind as an example of the basic goodness inherent in every person, even those I disagree with most profoundly.

And yet, there are lines that are dangerous to cross. There is behavior that cannot be tolerated. You identified some of this behavior and the threat it poses, but the partial, partisan lens you applied is perilously narrow and fans the flames of animosity.

There are angry mobs out there. There is a tremendous lack of respect and civility. There is a fundamental disregard for the truth and a very intentional spinning of false narratives. These are a serious threat and people are being hurt. You claim that these issues go beyond partisan politics and I agree with that too. But let’s go deeper.

Hateful words and rhetoric are hurtful and can lead to violence. Period. Political leanings and motivations are irrelevant. Incitement to violence, intolerance, lies, and lack of accountability cannot be tolerated lest we continue to slide toward fascism.

Not believing victims, not giving them a fair hearing is re-traumatizing and abusive. The abuse of power and privilege, by anyone, is not okay.

All the “othering” that’s happening, the painting of people as enemies is ignorant and always untrue. Disrespect in any form undermines democracy and the decency at its core.

Who would Jesus terrorize? Would Jesus look upon the caravans of Central Americans heading to the U.S. to seek asylum as invaders? Would he make up stories about them in order to create fear and justify repression? 

Trying to legitimize bigotry by hiding behind Christianity doesn’t fly. Christianity is about nothing if not charity and universal love.

I’m obviously trying to hold up certain social and cultural norms that are the bedrock of peaceful co-existence. These are the basic, common sense values instilled in us—with limited success it seems—since kindergarten. When they are trod upon scapegoating and repression flourish—it’s happening here now. 

 So I end this letter with the request that we take some deep breaths and slow down. That we stop pointing fingers and take a long look in the mirror.

Where do we draw the line beyond which speech becomes hate speech? How will we hold all people accountable so that hate doesn’t continue to be normalized?

Please don’t feel that you have to respond to this letter. I wrote this as a way to work with my own grief. I share these thoughts because I do not want to be complicit through silence. I write because I love you and I love life on this beautiful earth.

Wishing you peace and joy,

Your brother