You may have already offered your own farewell to Thich Nhat Hanh and Desmond Tutu, and, if you’re a student of Nonviolent Communication perhaps Robert Gonzalez as well. I recently caught myself too caught up in myself to pay proper tribute to these great peacemakers. So I take some time now to reflect on their lives and what they’ve meant to me.

Thich Nhat Hanh (Oct. 11, 1926 – Jan. 22, 2022)

I’ve often said that my #1 favorite peacemaking book is Thich Nhat Hanh’s Peace is Every Step. And one of my favorite quotes: “Humankind’s survival depends on our ability to stop rushing.” Time and again, Thich Nhat Hanh brought our attention back to mindfulness, the most basic foundation of peace. How many times have I thought of him while washing dishes and his reminder to clean them consciously, lovingly, never failing to notice the shift when I do.

He wrote over 100 books, all of them poetic and so very accessible. Another of my favorites is No Fear, No Death: Comforting Wisdom for Life. It’s full of vivid metaphors that evoke a felt sense of “interbeing”—what it means and what it feels like. As I wrote in Active Peace: A Mindful Path to a Nonviolent World:

Thich Nhat Hanh coined the word interbeing and I love the way it encompasses the spiritual and practical reality of interrelatedness. We arise from the same source—from the Ground of Being—as part of the great unfolding of the universe. We are not separate from anything that has come before—not our ancestors, not any living thing, not any “thing.”

Active Peace—the book and the path—is all about living our way out of the illusion of separateness and there’s no more useful word than interbeing, no more relevant peacemaker than Thich Nhat Hanh.

I bow with much gratitude to the humility of his person and teachings.

Desmond Tutu (Oct. 7, 1931 – Dec. 26, 2021)

A December 26, 2021 article in the Economist began:

There were many times, Desmond Tutu recalled, “when the apartheid rulers were strutting arrogantly, as if they were invincible cocks of the walk, and our people were being treated as if they were rubbish.” He wanted to whisper in God’s ear, “God, we know that you are in charge. Why don’t you make it slightly more obvious?”

This is the kind of irrepressible humor and consistent referencing to God that I celebrate in Desmond Tutu. He shepherded the South African Truth and Reconciliation process and popularized the word and concept of ubuntu. Ubuntu goes right to the heart of interbeing, its essence captured in the phrase, “I am because you are.”

More than anything though, it’s the unselfconscious playfulness he demonstrated late in life that I will most remember about Desmond Tutu. You’re probably aware of his extraordinary collaboration with the Dalai Lama that so epitomizes the ease and joy of the sage. He was a true elder who inspired me in ways I can’t even fathom.

Robert Gonzales (March 20, 1949 – Nov. 19, 2021)

Much loved in the Nonviolent Communication world, Robert Gonzales spoke directly to the heart and coached us in the “beauty and living energy” of our universal human needs. He also made the practice of self empathy a very natural and profoundly healing act. My go to question of “What’s alive right now”? was inspired by Robert.

I’m blessed to have participated in a two year “Living Compassion” program with him. My deepest experiences of interbeing happened right there in the spaces he created. He was a master teacher who modeled what he taught and I’m still digesting and integrating the banquet of his teaching.

Robert wrote one book and I recommend it. Reflections on Living Compassion is a beautiful guide into the heart of true compassion and nonviolence.

Much, much gratitude for these three lives that pointed us so directly toward compassion, love, and healing. May they live on in you and me, the lives we touch and all the ripples flowing out.

photo credit: Robert Lukeman via Unsplash